


Haikus: An addendum to "The Best Laid Plans (or Encore)"

by froofie



Category: Actor RPF, Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Haiku, Travel, dirty haiku, real person fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 22:33:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froofie/pseuds/froofie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I couldn't help myself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haikus: An addendum to "The Best Laid Plans (or Encore)"

**Airplane Dirty Haikus by me and ~~Benedict~~ ** _(fuck’s sake, don’t put my name!)_

 You know what they say:  
If this plane is a-rocking,  
Might be something wrong.

 

If I panic then  
I just might have to put my  
Head between your legs.

 

If flight is delayed  
Keep blood sugar levels calm:  
My pants edible.

 

Something to inflate  
In case of emergency  
Pull and blow on this.

 

This eight hour flight  
Perhaps could be better spent.  
Me love you long time

 

Reach under blanket  
This is what I’m looking for  
I found some more nuts!

 

Go back to your flock  
You are such a dirty bird  
Tit, Swallow, Booby

 

I see your booby  
And _raise_ you the following:  
Cock, Pecker, Nuthatch

 

Book I’m reading has  
 _You want me naked in bed_  
Subliminal notes.

 

Now have sudden urge  
I want you naked in bed.  
How did you do that?

 

Whilst napping, you drooled  
Also you have eye crusties  
Where are my panties?

 

When we’re in Vegas  
Want sushi. I’ll pretend it’s  
Your tongue in my mouth

 

But don’t eat too much  
You’ll get used to biting down.  
No fun for my tongue

 

What do you want for  
Your in-flight entertainment:  
Coffee, tea or me?

 

Skymall magazine  
Sells a vibrating pool raft  
Don’t need you no more.

 

I will stick around.  
I own that pool raft. Sadly  
It won’t do oral.

 

Clarify something:  
Does the term “layover” mean  
What I want it to?

 

It’s very sexy  
When you cross your legs like that  
I should not stand up.

 

Not til now have I  
Wanted to be your seatbelt.  
Upright position

 

I hope the person  
Who sits in this seat next flight  
Ordered a wet spot.

 

Very smart idea  
Seating us in the last row  
Our own Sin City

 

You know what they say  
What Happens in Row X is  
Videoed by me.

 

Surely they will let  
Me get off this plane in time  
To “get off” with you

 

This plane won’t go down  
So I _will_ go down on you.  
Don’t call me Shirley.


End file.
